Not like the Woman
Some and then some more...
In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful
One thought that has occupied my mind lately is how women are built differently—not just biologically, but in their essence, their capacity, and the unseen spaces within them. We are vessels—carrying life, emotions, responsibilities, secrets, and dreams.
And then there are the different roles.
This ayah comes to mind:
فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتْهَا قَالَتْ رَبِّ إِنِّى وَضَعْتُهَآ أُنثَىٰ وَٱللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتْ وَلَيْسَ ٱلذَّكَرُ كَٱلْأُنثَىٰ ۖ وَإِنِّى سَمَّيْتُهَا مَرْيَمَ وَإِنِّىٓ أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ
“When she delivered, she said, ‘My Lord, I have given birth to a girl,’—and Allah fully knew what she had delivered—‘and the male is not like the female. I have named her Mary, and I seek Your protection for her and her offspring from Satan, the accursed.’” (Aal-e-Imran: 36)
I have been reflecting on my own roles, which feel heavier than ever lately. A mother, a wife, a daughter (to all my “parents,” not just the ones who birthed me), a sister, a friend, a community leader, a coach, a teacher, a student, an aunt, a business owner, a school director, a homemaker, and above all, a servant of Allah. Then there are the unnamed roles, the ones without titles but no less significant.
Some days it feels like I am playing them all hard. Other days, it feels like they are playing me.
It can only be Allah.
She may be a mother, entrusted with the big task of rasing the next generation while still raising herself. Her days are often filled with unseen labor, the kind that lays the foundation of a home—not just as a physical space but as a sanctuary for the hearts and souls around her.
She may be a professional, carving a path in spaces not always designed for her. She excels with resilience, “breaking glass ceilings” while balancing societal expectations and racing against the “biological clock” that everyone loves to remind her of.
She may be a friend, quietly holding the burdens of others with compassion, even as hers remain hidden.
And she may be all of this at once, and still rising in the dark of the night to lay her fears and hopes before her Lord, committing everything and everyone to Him in duʿāʾ, only to rise again and DO it all over tomorrow.
Yet, in all that DOING, we often forget how to BE.
Women are expected to be everything at once, to give endlessly. But I am humbled in their ability to hold—to create space for others while still holding themselves.
But let’s not romanticize this strength. It comes at a cost. That vast, seemingly bottomless capacity is not infinite. It must be nurtured.
Women need time, rest, and spiritual and emotional sustenance to replenish themselves and sometimes, this comes from wells that, even they cannot see.
It can only be Allah.
So, to you, dear sister, this is to say to you “I see you.”
I see the weight you carry, the spaces you create, and the countless roles you play, except, it is not play is it?
Honor that space within you. Acknowledge the weight you carry. And remember that you, too, deserve space to rest, heal, and grow.
Lean on Allah, the One who is sufficient for every burden, every need, and every role you play.
It can only be Allah.
May you always find your Lord sufficient.
With love,
Umm B
We feel the weight of your words and the depth of your reflection. The many roles many of us carry, often unseen and unacknowledged, are a testament to the strength we all strive to embody. But I also hear the exhaustion that so many of us feel, the need to breathe, and the longing for balance. It’s not easy, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. We’re human, and in our struggles, we are still enough. Yes, Allah sees us, and He knows every effort and silent sacrifice we make.
Let’s remind ourselves to pause and let go of the need to do it all perfectly. We can focus on what truly matters in this moment and lean on each other for support when the weight feels too heavy. A simple “no” to one thing could mean a big “yes” to our peace. And above all, we need to keep turning to Allah, even with our smallest whispers of dua. Trusting Him to be sufficient is something we can all lean into, finding renewal and strength together. We’re in this, step by step.
Jazakallahu bikhair 🤗